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Emotional Wellness
What if you didn’t have to fix everything?
You are likely holding a lot right now. Maybe it is the mental load of managing a household, the pressure to excel in your career, or simply the weight of being the emotional anchor for everyone else. We often move through our days believing that if we just work harder, organize better, or care more, the chaos will eventually settle. We tell ourselves, “I’ll relax when everything is done.”
But here is the hard truth: Everything is never done.
The storm doesn’t stop just because you are exhausted. The real question isn’t how to stop the waves from crashing, but how to learn to surf. What if the goal wasn’t to eliminate stress, but to change how you stand within it? What if you didn’t have to fix everything around you to feel okay inside?
This is the essence of emotional wellness. It is not about permanent happiness or living in a state of zen-like denial. It is about building a sturdy internal shelter where you can rest, even when the rain is pouring down outside.
Resilience Over Perfection
Emotional wellness often gets confused with “being happy.” But happiness is a fleeting emotion, much like sadness or anger. Chasing a permanent state of happiness is a recipe for exhaustion.
At TFF Health and Wellness, we view emotional wellness differently. We see it as the capacity to feel deeply without being swept away. It is about resilience and self-compassion.
Think of your emotions like guests visiting your home. Some are welcome friends (joy, excitement), while others are difficult neighbors (anxiety, grief). Emotional wellness is the ability to open the door to all of them, acknowledge their presence, and know that you are the host, not the hostage.
This philosophy connects directly to a meaningful life because it stops the war against yourself. When you stop fighting your feelings, you free up an immense amount of energy. You reclaim the vitality that was previously spent on suppression or avoidance. You stop trying to be a “perfect” woman who never gets angry or sad, and you start being a real human who can navigate the full spectrum of life with grace.
Where Are You Right Now?
It is easy to operate on autopilot, disconnected from how we actually feel until we hit a breaking point. Let’s take a moment to pause. Put down your phone, close your eyes for a second, and check in with yourself.
Ask yourself these questions honestly. There is no right or wrong answer, only data:
- When I feel overwhelmed, is my first instinct to fight it, fix it, or numb it? (Do you lash out, go into hyper-planning mode, or scroll social media for hours?)
- What emotion am I currently avoiding? Is there a sadness or frustration sitting just beneath the surface that you haven’t had time to address?
- How do I speak to myself when I make a mistake? If a friend dropped a glass, you would say, “It’s okay.” If you drop a glass, do you say, “I’m so clumsy/stupid”?
- Do I believe I deserve rest, or do I feel I have to earn it?
These prompts aren’t meant to make you feel guilty. They are meant to shine a light on your current emotional landscape. You cannot heal what you do not acknowledge.
The Twist on Coping
We often hear advice like “take a bubble bath” or “think positive thoughts.” While those have their place, they are often just bandages on a deeper wound. True emotional wellness requires strategies that align with your values and reality.
Here are three practical shifts that go deeper than surface-level self-care:
1. Swap "Control" for "Curiosity"
We usually try to control negative emotions. “I shouldn’t feel this way,” we tell ourselves.
The Twist: Get curious instead. When anxiety rises, ask, “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” Usually, anxiety is a sign that you care deeply about something, or that a boundary has been crossed. Instead of silencing the messenger, listen to the message.
2. Practice "Good Enough" Parenting... for Yourself
You likely show incredible patience to your children or friends. You validate their feelings. You tell them it’s okay to have a bad day.
The Twist: Re-parent yourself. When you are spiraling, speak to yourself like you would a tired child. “I know you’re overwhelmed, sweetie. It makes sense that you’re tired. Let’s just sit down for five minutes.” It feels silly at first, but it is radically effective.
3. The 90-Second Rule
Neuroscientists suggest that the chemical surge of an emotion only lasts about 90 seconds in the body. Everything after that is often us re-triggering the emotion with our thoughts.
The Twist: When a strong emotion hits, don’t react immediately. Ride the wave for 90 seconds. Breathe through the physical sensation—the tight chest, the hot face. Once the chemical surge passes, you will have the clarity to respond rather than react.
The "Container" Visualization
Sometimes, the chaos is too loud to think through. In those moments, you need a tool to help you embody calm physically. This exercise is rooted in cognitive behavioral techniques (CBT) to help create distance between you and your stressors.
Try this when you feel the walls closing in:
- Find a quiet seat. Plant your feet firmly on the floor. Feel the ground supporting you.
- Close your eyes. Take three deep breaths. In through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, out through your mouth for six.
- Visualize a container. It can be anything—a strong safe, a beautiful jar with a heavy lid, or a chest at the bottom of the ocean. It is indestructible.
- Pack your worries. Imagine taking the specific stressors of the moment—the deadlines, the arguments, the to-do list—and turning them into objects. Place them inside the container one by one.
- Seal it. Put the lid on. Lock it. Know that those worries are safe there. You are not deleting them; you are simply setting them down for a moment so your hands are free.
- Walk away. In your mind, step away from the container. Feel the lightness of not carrying that weight, even just for five minutes.
- Open your eyes. Notice how your shoulders feel. You have created space.
Connection to the Bigger Picture
You might be wondering, “How does breathing help me get my work done?”
It is all connected. Emotional wellness is the engine that powers your Physical Wellness. When you are chronically stressed, your cortisol spikes, your sleep suffers, and your energy crashes. By managing your emotional state, you protect your physical health.
It feeds your Social Wellness. When you are emotionally regulated, you can be present with your partner and friends, rather than snappy or distant.
It supports your Intellectual Wellness. A calm brain solves problems faster than a panicked one.
Balance isn’t a schedule; it’s a state of being. By tuning your emotional engine, you make the ride smoother across every single area of your life. You aren’t just “coping”; you are creating a sustainable way to live that honors your energy.
Your Journey Is Your Own
There is no finish line here. You won’t wake up one day and never feel sad again. That isn’t the goal. The goal is to wake up knowing that whatever comes your way, you have the tools, the resilience, and the self-compassion to handle it.
You are doing hard work every day. You are supporting so many people. It is time to offer that same support to yourself.
If you are ready to stop just surviving the chaos and start finding calm within it, we are here to help. At TFF, we use evidence-based tools like CBT to help you rewire those automatic responses and build a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
Don’t wait for the storm to pass. Learn to build your shelter today.